So many things to learn

When I was little, I was always in my own little world. Being an only child didn't help either (sorry, don't mean to offend anyone out there), because I was encouraged to be "me, myself & I". My parents are wonderful, but they did me a disservice by constantly sheltering me and overprotecting me and making sure I knew I was the princess. I wasn't spoiled, but I was pretty damn sure that I tried to get my way a lot of the time. And anytime I was upset, I was given license to vent my feelings and stamp my feet (to a certain degree).

Ok, so this paints me as a pretty rotten kid. But I swear, I was quite fun, playful, happy, gregarious, and constantly cared about people- almost to my detriment. I wanted to make sure everyone was happy with me all the time and that people liked me. It never happened that way, hilariously enough, because I had braces, didn't shave my legs until I was 13, had short curly hair and was a bit chubby. Not the coolest kid on the planet.

Now that I'm all grown up, I tend to underestimate how much of my childhood shaped the person I am today. I am still child-like, giggly, vivacious and I still find my greatest joy in making the person I love happy. However, some of he gnarly bits of my childhood still remain as bad habits. The tempermental, impatient, negative (it's the Ukrainian in me- we're all a bit melancholy in our genes) and selfish sides are my biggest hurdles to overcome. Why? I have no idea. Everyone has an evil twin inside themselves, and mine has almost all but disappeared, save for these few traits. It's annoying as hell to see them come out of me, because I become the Myshka that isn't exactly fun to be around. I'm really tough and opinionated and passionate, but mix those together with the bad habits, and you get a very fiery woman. I'm trying to learn and change and grow as a woman, and sometimes these are little road blocks for me, and make it hard for me to operate normally in my day and in my marriage. The mister is really good at being a grownup, and in my eyes, he is a lot of my inspiration for being a well-rounded fun person that doesn't look at the dark side of things. But there's only so much that someone outside of myself can help- I have to do that on my own, from within.

Honestly, what really sets me straight is reminding myself how blessed I am. I am healthy as a horse, I have a wonderful life in London, I have 2 families that I adore to pieces, and most of all, I have a man who promises to stand by me, adore me and witness my life, for better or worse. I'm a very lucky Myshka.

All I can do is recognize this evil twin and remind her of what she has to lose by being a big baby. And that every day is a new opportunity to start fresh and remind the important people that you fiercely love them no matter what.