I'm a quitter.

Let me explain.

On January 1, 2008, I. Quit. Smoking.

That wasn't a resolution, it was just something that I needed to do, and I'm broadcasting it to the blogosphere so that I can be held accountable not only to myself but to all of you out there. So feel free to reach into your computers and slap me if I think about reaching for a Marlboro Light.

I've been smoking on and off since I was 19, so that's been 12 years of nice tar buildup on my lungs. and I have to say, I've totally enjoyed it. And the irony is that everything else about me is Granola Girl- I don't take any medicines and pills and rarely take aspirin, I usually have a vitamin-solution for anything, and I pride myself in knowing the specific nutritional benefits of certain foods and herbs. But hey, give me a glass of wine or a strong tea, and I'll be out on the balcony with cigarette in hand, in the summer, winter, whenever. Plus, the mister has been smoking since he was 14, and it's been nice to share a cigarette with coffee early in the morning or during a late night of drinking. We've never been a pack-a-day, but we'll do a decent 4 or 5 during the day and a few more at night. It feels like a little club, and it's been fun standing outside a pub having conversations with new and random people, all smoking. And one of our closest friends once jokingly pointed out: "All the interesting people at a party smoke. It's just fact." We love him to bits, but ironically, he said that right before he had a health scare related to his smoking habits (and we hope he's quit, because he is just too amazing and beautiful of a person to have anything bad happen to him).

I also decided to go kamikaze-style and quit cold turkey. My dad did it after smoking 2 packs a day for 8 years, and I believe that can do it too. I have to. My personality is such that if I slowly wean myself off, then I'll sneak them in every once in a while and give myself permission. I can't do that, it's too easy for me. The mister has tried the patches, the gum, the pills, but I really think that because both of us aren't hard-core smokers, we're kidding ourselves by doing it slowly. It's in the brain, it's all about the willpower for us. I know I can do it by not focusing on my cravings and reminding myself that I'm getting out just in time: my teeth haven't turned yellow yet, my singing voice is still pure, and my face is still pretty wrinkle-free and dewy.

I also have some personal incentives: when I was 6, Dido (Babchya's husband and Mamo's dad) died of a hemorrhage in his brain, but he was also a heavy smoker and drinker and it had made him predisposed to that unfortunate event. Babchya has been pleading with me to stop smoking and be as healthy as possible, and I finally want to do that for her.

But all of these things I have realized on my own. No one has nagged me about it, no one has tried to force me to quit. Those tactics are usually what make someone want to do the opposite anyway. I am doing this for myself, first and foremost. I would love for the mister to quit, and I think he will at some point this year, but I can't force him either.

I'm not judging anyone for doing whatever makes them happy and if that includes smoking and drinking or whatever, to each his own. But for me, it was time to stop.

And here's hoping that my addictive substitution, munching on carrot sticks, will calm down at some point. I think I'm turning a curious shade of orange.