Philosophical perspectives (aided by Dutch beer)

We're back from a lovely holiday on our sailboat.

Yes, you read that right. Our sailboat.

You see, in the process of all of this job change, financial stress and chaotic move-or-not to move worry, we were also in the process of buying our first boat. It's been in the works for quite a while, as we're both avid sailors, but it was just put into place the day we left for Holland, which is where she's berthed.

So our two weeks of constant bliss consisted of: water, boat, beer, sunshine, listening to the radio and playing fierce games of Backgammon. I cannot begin to explain how your perspectives change when you don't have a computer to sit in front of, no Blackberry to sprain your thumbs on, no phones to answer. All I did was listen to the sails flap in the wind. Listen to my footsteps on the pontoon at night when I walked into the marina for a hot shower. All I brought with me was a pair of jeans that I wore almost every day, some t-shirts, and a backpack. The mister and I found ourselves laughing a lot more, taking more pictures, having more discussions.

But it was all lumped in the same head space, which was: life gives you such a giant test sometimes, and you have to dig really deep to find some head space to deal with it. To find that one thread that keeps you hanging on. And that it's all too short of a ride to kill yourself to make it perfect.

I still don't have a job yet, the market over here in the UK isn't great either (i cannot imagine how chaotic life in the US must be right now, it's so upsetting). But I know I'd make myself crazy worrying about it. I'll start sending writing samples to some magazines, maybe all this down time is telling me that I need to rethink my strategy. We'll see.

It's also my birthday this Thursday, a day older. I have to say, I still feel like a little girl that wants her presents and flowers and cake and party sometimes, but I'm realising that I have to do that for myself now, I can't expect that at 30-something it still is that big of a deal to everyone else (otherwise Chuck E. Cheese would have an adults menu). The mister is away on business that day, and all my girlfriends have kids, so I might celebrate by getting my nails done and treating myself to afternoon tea.

One step at a time.