Doctors, hospitals and charts, oh my..

I will not use the obligatory "we're not in Kansas anymore" quote, but it applies nevertheless. And, as a warning, some of you may not agree with some of the following statements and may think of them as a bit inflammatory, but if you care to read on, go for it (and settle in with some tea and cake, 'cause this is a loooooong one).

Living in a foreign country gives you a very unique comparative perspective on a lot of things. Currently, I have the pleasure of comparing health care systems, doctors, hospitals, etc. Being a pregnant lady, I have no choice but to be immersed in all of this at a semi-regular frequency. I'll start with my previous experiences.

After living in NYC for almost 10 years, and upstate NY before that, I had a pretty good knowledge and comfort-level with the way the health care system operated. You pay through the nose, or your company does, for health insurance (which I still think is the most ridiculous thing, PAYING to have health coverage), which gives you the opportunity to see a doctor for every sniffle, cough, cold.. anything. And he'll see you very quickly, which I used to think was a blessing. But when I got to his office, he'd manage, every time, to shove a load of medicine and samples into my hand and say- yeah, take some of this, you'll be fine. Uh, okaaay...

Luckily, mama didn't raise no fool, so I'm pretty familiar with medical jargon (yeah, I'm a super-nerd who likes reading biology and science books), and I'm familiar with the way my body works. And to my astonishment, sometimes I'd look in one hand and have one medicine, and in the other hand I would have another medicine that conflicted. As in: "take two of these to expel phlegm" and "take two of these to suppress it". Yeah, thanks doctor. That makes total sense.

I realised that the only reason why doctors do this is because they have close partnerships with certain pharmaceutical companies, so they make a nice profit when they give you lots of samples. Figures. It's also proven that hospitals encourage pregnant women to have a drug that speeds up labour (or have a cesarean), so that the turnover can be higher. More births=more money. It's like a Michael Moore documentary over there. And for a long time, I bought into it, and I loved the attention I would get for every little thing that bothered me. I became a bit of a hypochondriac, and every little ache or cough became oh, shit. I'm gonna die.

Well, shift that to living in the UK. Over here, everyone gets free health coverage. You can see the doctor at the last minute, and if it's something serious, they'll refer you to a specialist. Simple as that. No drugs, no co-pay. Now, if you can afford to pay for private health insurance (which is the monthly equivalent of paying $60 a month) and take yourself out of the line of people who can't afford to do that, then that's a good option as well. Granted, it doesn't cover everything, but it does guarantee cheaper prices for certain treatments.

In the beginning, I was terrified of the NHS. I pictured these grimy clinics, ripped curtains, dim David Fincher-esque lighting. Okay, I'm a bit of a drama queen- but hey, I was so used to the rich, pristine walls of NYU, that I had a very pampered perception.

The doctors here are pretty amazing. I remember my first visit- I came in and asked the doctor "umm.. I have this cough I've had for a few days- should I take something for it? What do you think it is?" The doctor took one look at me, listened to my chest and said "Chicken soup, and rest. Now get out."

And he was right. No one here bullshits you. No one here throws drugs at a problem unless absolutely last-resort necessary. Have I ever used my private health insurance? Nope. Yes, the NHS have issues, just like any over-prescribed under-staffed business, but they've never failed me. I trust them.

Now, as a pregnant lady in a foreign country, I am a tiny bit nervous about things here. I guess it brings a whole new set of issues for me that I've never had to deal with before. Scans, midwife appointments, growth charts, percentages, birth plans. The list goes on. But we've found a great NHS hospital only 20 minutes away from us that so far has been amazing- the facilities are modern and comfortable, the people are really lovely, and the doctors are extremely thorough. But they've been a bit too cautious and thorough recently. I'll explain.

I've had a mild heart murmur since I was 10. So does Mamo. So does Babchya. it's our hallmark, if you will. I've never had a problem with it apart from the occasional flutter. However, as someone that will, in just under 4 months, endure the incredible physical strain of pushing a watermelon-sized human being out of my bits, the doctors recommended me to have an ultrasound and ECG of my heart, to make sure that there won't be any complications. I was against it, since I'm sure I'll be fine, but I agreed to it nonetheless. They spent 40 minutes in there with me, scanning my heart, taking measurements. Did they discuss the results with me after? Nope. They said I'll get a letter with my results in the mail.

Still, the paranoid New Yorker in me came back with a vengeance. Whaaaaat?!?!?!??? What does that mean? Did they find anything? Ohmygodohmygod.

Yeah, I'd slap me too. I was spinning. I was imagining the worst scenarios possible. I looked at the mister helplessly.

"Just take a breath", he said. He was right.

Throughout this pregnancy, I've realised there are a LOT of scales, percentages and charts that they use to monitor a pregnant woman and her baby. Are doctors always correct? No. Do babies always grow along the lines of a national average? No. Do mothers all have the same issues? Nope. So, I'm taking everything with a large kernel of salt.

To be honest, the more I think about all these charts and tests and figures, the more time I take away from focusing on this little magical wriggling fish inside me. And that's not a very rock and roll attitude to pass down to our baby, now is it?

So just keep hanging, baby. Mama will take care of the rest.