It's starting to feel very real.
It's sinking in how lucky I am to have been blessed with a handsome husband who's my running partner in this crazy ridiculous adventure, lucky to have a healthy and very happy little girl that constantly says "mama" with pure adoration, lucky to have a job, a house, some pocket money to spend. I never want to take any of this for granted.
This pregnancy has flown by, and though I've stopped to take it all in, take in each little swirl of anticipation and fear and joy, take in how amazing I feel and how much I've loved this second time around even more, take in each kick and stretch that the little one does in its little place under my ribs... the time is unforgiving in how quickly it passes.
L is growing so quickly and constantly testing my patience lately, and like every mother, I worry that I let my frustration and impatience eclipse the amazing feeling of her little hand touching mine. It won't be so little and pudgy forever. I need to remember that. In the chaos that is about to erupt in our house in a few weeks, I need to remember that L will always have her place as my first. My beautiful, independent little girl. My baby. The one that had a bit of a rough start in the world the first couple days, but managed to kick ass and take names. My little travelling companion that never tires of looking out the window on a road trip.
My life, our life, seems to be exploding in each direction at the moment: business, toddler, travel, baby, finding a bigger house.. and we perversely thrive on that kind of energy. But there are moments where we have very little left to give and have to dig really deep to find some light and laughter. It's there, I know it. It just needs a bit of a nudge to bring it to the surface.
Maybe if I remember how much I need to be thankful for, and how to breathe in these beautiful moments... maybe, just maybe, I'll find a way to slow the ticking clock a little bit. Can't hurt to try.
2 comments:
Trying never hurts, it's the letting the chance pass you by to do so that aches.
Wow you are getting so close. The baby bump is beautiful! I too, wish I could figure out how to slow down time or find more hours in the day. We just have to hang on for the ride and try to take in as much as we can.
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