This is not ideal, I know...*

*For those of you who have read my dear friend Amanda's post, you'll find this one very familiar. It's not my intent to copy her idea (and I could never come close to the amazing writer she is), but many scenes in her life mirror my own since our husbands work in the same industry, and I thought I'd take this opportunity to get out the frustration I feel sometimes when we have to face days like this.

This is not ideal, I know.

And as he said it while standing in the kitchen that morning, he looked pretty defeated. And it probably didn't help things that I was pretty angry and frustrated. So we stood there, trying to smile and avoid the inevitable goodbye kiss that precedes a 9 hour day at work while I was at home trying to enjoy what was left of our holiday.

The mister and I promised each other that we would have a nice, relaxing holiday from Dec. 22nd until Jan 2nd. No work, no phones, just planning for family to arrive and organising our Christmas and spending some much needed time in each other's pockets. Hmm.

The best laid plans of mice and men...

What actually happened is that I ran around like crazy preparing the food for the 2-day feast that lay ahead of us, and the mister stayed until the wee hours at work every day until the 24th, working on a new business pitch. We then had 5 frenzied days with family visiting, and then on the 29th (yesterday), he got up at 7:30am to go into work again, and stayed until the evening. We were planning on potentially taking a few days out of the country to spend some time together, but he had to go into work again today. So New Years Eve will have to be planned at the last minute.

This year he's worked so hard and has missed birthdays, trips, etc. And to be fair, I can't be angry. Because this is what his job is, and he's good at it. And perversely, the powers that be reward him for sacrificing his entire life to prove his commitment to the agency. And as much as it aches that he can't spend time just relaxing with me in bed and is shut into a white cube during the brisk sunny days of winter here, I'm fiercely proud of him for keeping it together and just trying to do his best and ride out this recession for the both of us. In an attempt to hold together what's left of our frayed sanity, we have to remind ourselves that every day is always a new adventure and a new challenge for us. So, really, the only thing we can do to survive this hurricane of chaos is just to smile and think of the future that lies waiting for us on the other side of tomorrow.

This morning as I lay in bed and smell the cologne that lingers on my t-shirt after he kissed me, I promised myself that I would just enjoy today and take in as much sunshine as possible. I slowly shuffled into the kitchen and noticed a piece of paper lying next to his now cold half-drunk cup of coffee. The piece of paper had a little smiley-faced self-portrait of him on it, and in his impeccably neat handwriting, the note:

I'm sorry I had to work today, but I hope you have a peaceful day my angel. I'll see you later. I love you. xxx

It's days like today that make me remind myself of how lucky I am that my best friend remembers to make me smile. Even through the rough stuff.