Adjustments and bumps

Breathe. Stay calm. Try and understand where he's coming from and why he did this again, for the 37th time. Try to get where he's coming from. Don't throw anything at him.

Living in a different country tests your patience and your courage. Being pregnant and having a business in a different country, away from family and everything that's familiar, turns up the notch on the previous sentence. It also tests your relationship mettle.

I'm a pretty tough bird, and I have to say that I've weathered quite a few bumps along the way here. I've discovered more about myself, more of what I need out of life, and more about my marriage and my partner. It hasn't been easy (cut to pregnant woman sitting at breakfast table crying into cornflakes... for absolutely no reason).

The mister and I have discovered something about the way we work together. Maybe it's his new business. Maybe it's the new house. Maybe it's the pregnancy. I think it's everything all at once (which seems to be the best way we work). We've always been a tight team, unfailingly since the day we met, but this pregnancy has added a really profound dynamic in how we approach things and learn from each other. When I drop the ball, he already stands 10 paces ahead of me ready to catch it. When he can't find a solution, I'm ready with a few options for him, complete with pen and paper. Granted, we're still new at all this and still have a lifetime of learning to do, but we're learning to be patient in figuring things out. We struggle and argue and laugh and play and make mistakes, lots of mistakes (and we repeat those mistakes sometimes without thinking), but there's a delicious undercurrent of strength and love and sweetness and honesty that I'm proud of. And the adjustments that we've made recently in the way we do things and the habits that we're trying to break... these tiny adjustments feel like a compass leading us in a really solid direction.

Little fishy in there is kicking as I write this, and I can't help but think that there's this profound magic that happens when two people create a third. The abundance of selflessness and love (not only in yourself, but as a couple, and as a family) that's needed to cushion this little one is awesome, in the purest sense of the word. And our heads and hearts are slowly expanding to accommodate. To adjust. Of course I can easily dwell on the little things about who's right, and why he did that and what's annoying me.. but truth is, if I step outside of myself when these moments happen, I know exactly what's really important. Don't sweat the small stuff, Tato has always said to me. And I think I have moments now where I really get what that means.

I'm lucky to have a good life, a husband who challenges me and cherishes me, a family who grounds me, and loyal, amazing friends. I remind myself of that every day (especially the dark days).

Roads are bumpy, sure. Roads can get bumpy with a bump, sure. But that's what makes life the all-time greatest challenge, right?