I have a friend. She's quite intelligent, rather nice looking, is a mum. I've known her for a while now. My one issue with her?
She never reaches out to me. Never gets in contact.
We were close friends for a while. And when I told her I was pregnant last year, she seemed pretty casual about it (that's fine, not everyone is gooey about kids), and when I tried to make plans to see her, she would only agree to meet me for a quick walk in the park with her son because he had playgroups to go to. Okay, so I tried to make it lunch instead, figuring the kid eats at some point, right? Strike two. Apparently, she said that he doesn't do well in restaurants, and a 2-year old shouldn't be "expected" to behave in a restaurant anyway. Eh?? what the fuck?
So I finally found some self-respect and left it up to her to contact me. I've begged girlfriends to be my friend my whole life, it seems. I'm always the one reaching out. I'm always the one checking in. I'm always the one rearranging my time. Sorry, but I'm not 20 anymore, and I don't like being taken for granted. If you want to be my friend, you have to do the legwork too sometimes.
So, the other day she calls me. After a year of not reaching out. And basically told me that she's having personal problems and that she doesn't know why we haven't gotten together. I was genuinely pleased to talk to her again, and told her that it doesn't matter what happened in the past. What matters is that we're in touch again. And I asked her to email me to give me some dates that work for her, and that I would arrange babysitting to see her and catch up, just the both of us, one-on-one. I even emailed her to make sure she had my correct address.
Guess how long ago that was? A month ago.
Complete radio silence. Though curiously enough, she does update her Facebook status every damn day, so I don't think she missed my email.
Do me a favour.. if you want to be friends, let me know. Otherwise, don't keep yanking my chain and make me feel like a needy chick. That shouldn't be too much to ask.
*steps off her Ideal World soapbox*
