Okay, for the people who know me, I'm a romantic. For the people who don't, my romantic-ness can be explained like this: I cry at soppy films, I love hearing about people's love stories, I have kept every single love letter and poem the mister has written me, and I get goose bumps every time the mister walks into a room. Granted, I may possess industrial-strength romanticism, but I do believe a little should exist in every relationship, to keep it interesting.
However, some things I keep sacred, just because that's how I carry myself, and I've heard that many women find that this enhances the mystery for some men. For example:
I don't leave the door open when I go to the bathroom.
I have my face cream/makeup/shaving before we go out rituals that I keep to myself, behind the bathroom door.
I can't say certain words without blushing out of embarrassement (funny thing is that I'm fine with filthy ones, it's the run of the mill ones, go figure..).
If I have to burp, I don't do it as loudly as possible to be funny, I turn my head the other way.
I don't talk about my sex life/size/shape/habits/types of sex toys I use, etc., ala Sex and the City.
I make sure the bathroom smells nice after I've... you know.
To some, I may sound like a prude, but everyone has their own way of doing things, and this is my way. But I think you'll all agree, that this has to be the end of romance: the Twin Toilet.
I swear, every day in this country I read something even more amazing than the day before. Is this for real? Do we really want to take a dump next to our husbands/life partners? Is THIS how we're supposed to communicate in our relationships?
Hey.. how was your day today?
*grunt* Great, great..*grunt..ugghhh* Today was tough.
Yeah, mine too. *thrrrrpppp* I'm so tired lately..*fffrrrrppp*
What do you want for dinner?
*grunt* ummm..*fffrrrrr* I don't know, how about rice and beans?
I'm sorry, but I don't care how much you love your significant other, please tell me that romance hasn't gotten to the point where if you get an extra sheet of toilet paper handed to you from your toilet buddy, that's considered romantic.
Tuesday 25 March 2008
Sunday 23 March 2008
Chocolate bunnies, possible snowstorms, and Guitar Hero.
I've had a blissful 2 days off of work. Good Friday and Easter Monday in the UK are public holidays, and everything pretty much shuts down. And where we live, it gets like a ghost town: no cars, no tourists, no nothing. Heaven.
We're not particularly religious, but we do appreciate the holiday and appreciate that people get a chance to spend it with their families. So we've been spending the time together with absolutely nothing planned. We were going to go away, but the mister has been travelling a lot for work, so when he does get a chance to be at home, he'd rather not be subject to itineraries and just relax and let his brain empty out(sometimes I can be very Type A and insist on activities. Yes, I used to be a camp counselor).
So, we've been going for walks, going to the gym, planning for a possible snowstorm, eating the ears off a giant chocolate bunny that was a gift from my mum-in-law, and playing Guitar Hero.
Yes, Guitar Hero.
The mister used to be in a rock band, and still plays guitar. And I saw an advert for this game on TV, and I thought it would be fun to get. So get it we did. And it is so much fun, a total brain-drain. And to justify to everyone why I'm playing it, it does test your hand-eye coordination, I swear. And makes me feel really rock and roll, okay, I admit it.
Also, on the day of the vernal equinox, Mamo celebrated her 60th birthday. I wish I had a picture of her when she was my age, but in my biased opinion, she's an amazing and beautiful woman. She's my confidante, my best girlfriend, and my inspiration. She swims 3 miles every day, trains horses, teaches elementary school, has been married to Tato for 36 years, and in her pale blue eyes, I can see the vulnerability that simmers under her steely exterior. It's amazing the stuff she's experienced in the course of her 60 years on this planet. And I only hope I can be as cool as she is when I'm that age.
I love you, Mamo. Mno Haya Lita.
Okay, now... back to Guitar Hero.
We're not particularly religious, but we do appreciate the holiday and appreciate that people get a chance to spend it with their families. So we've been spending the time together with absolutely nothing planned. We were going to go away, but the mister has been travelling a lot for work, so when he does get a chance to be at home, he'd rather not be subject to itineraries and just relax and let his brain empty out(sometimes I can be very Type A and insist on activities. Yes, I used to be a camp counselor).
So, we've been going for walks, going to the gym, planning for a possible snowstorm, eating the ears off a giant chocolate bunny that was a gift from my mum-in-law, and playing Guitar Hero.
Yes, Guitar Hero.
The mister used to be in a rock band, and still plays guitar. And I saw an advert for this game on TV, and I thought it would be fun to get. So get it we did. And it is so much fun, a total brain-drain. And to justify to everyone why I'm playing it, it does test your hand-eye coordination, I swear. And makes me feel really rock and roll, okay, I admit it.
Also, on the day of the vernal equinox, Mamo celebrated her 60th birthday. I wish I had a picture of her when she was my age, but in my biased opinion, she's an amazing and beautiful woman. She's my confidante, my best girlfriend, and my inspiration. She swims 3 miles every day, trains horses, teaches elementary school, has been married to Tato for 36 years, and in her pale blue eyes, I can see the vulnerability that simmers under her steely exterior. It's amazing the stuff she's experienced in the course of her 60 years on this planet. And I only hope I can be as cool as she is when I'm that age.
I love you, Mamo. Mno Haya Lita.
Okay, now... back to Guitar Hero.
Tuesday 18 March 2008
What's disturbing about this headline?
In this morning's paper (a free one they give out at the tube stations), this is the headline I saw:
A LINE OF COCAINE IS CHEAPER THAN A PINT OF BEER NOW THAT THE ALCOHOL TAX RISES TOOK EFFECT YESTERDAY
And they had a photo of someone doing a line.
Now, I guess someone can interperet that in two ways:
Hurray! Call the dealer, we can save some money!!
or
Holy crap. Is Class A drug-use viewed the same as a night out drinking some beer?
Reading further, I had quite the dose of education: apparently, having a hit of heroin or a tab of ecstacy is around the same price as a pint, with cigarettes topping the list as the most expensive.
Hmm.
I understand that Hollywood tends to just swim around in pools of drugs and everyone turns a blind eye, and the last video of Heath Ledger at a party shows him smoking a joint next to someone hoovering up a line, but when did it become so common that it's de rigeur to have these drugs on offer at a random party? Has it always been like this? In the UK, I've seen pictures of celebrities blatantly holding small square packets, and people put it on the gossip pages saying "ooh, that cheeky so-and-so, wonder what he's up to...?"
I'm not judging anyone for doing what floats their boat, to each his own. And all of us have been to college, it's not like we've never heard of this stuff. But to have it covered in the media so much, what kind of example does this send to teenagers who read about these cool people? Personally, the amount of times I've heard drugs talked about and photographed here in the UK, I might as well be living in Amsterdam. I'm not saying that any celebrity should be a role model, but nevertheless, they're doing something really private very publicly, and kids are watching them. And after a while, they'll be numb to all of it. People do justify it and say "well, it's just like getting drunk, that's a drug too", and I guess you could say that Sex and the City was like that with casual sex, and with Samantha taking hits of ecstacy or viagra, and maybe that's just as bad. I don't know.
Funny thing is, I'm not even a parent. I will be someday, and I guess it worries me a bit about how quickly kids will have to grow up in the generations to come. It feels like they'll be confronted with all of this a lot sooner than I was, and it feels like a lot more pressure. As for me and this issue, I just get tired of seeing it all the time, and hearing about it from people who do it just to show everyone that they're very cool, very rock and roll. It's as if it's a hobby that everyone wants to do and they talk about it like it's as normal as saying "Hey, I am totally addicted to making ceramic bowls! Let's make some together! Everyone should get into this!" Whatever.
If it makes you feel fun and happy and cool, great. But try and keep it out of the spotlight, because you may be making a very big impression on someone (and not in a good way).
Okay, okay, I'm off my soapbox.
A LINE OF COCAINE IS CHEAPER THAN A PINT OF BEER NOW THAT THE ALCOHOL TAX RISES TOOK EFFECT YESTERDAY
And they had a photo of someone doing a line.
Now, I guess someone can interperet that in two ways:
Hurray! Call the dealer, we can save some money!!
or
Holy crap. Is Class A drug-use viewed the same as a night out drinking some beer?
Reading further, I had quite the dose of education: apparently, having a hit of heroin or a tab of ecstacy is around the same price as a pint, with cigarettes topping the list as the most expensive.
Hmm.
I understand that Hollywood tends to just swim around in pools of drugs and everyone turns a blind eye, and the last video of Heath Ledger at a party shows him smoking a joint next to someone hoovering up a line, but when did it become so common that it's de rigeur to have these drugs on offer at a random party? Has it always been like this? In the UK, I've seen pictures of celebrities blatantly holding small square packets, and people put it on the gossip pages saying "ooh, that cheeky so-and-so, wonder what he's up to...?"
I'm not judging anyone for doing what floats their boat, to each his own. And all of us have been to college, it's not like we've never heard of this stuff. But to have it covered in the media so much, what kind of example does this send to teenagers who read about these cool people? Personally, the amount of times I've heard drugs talked about and photographed here in the UK, I might as well be living in Amsterdam. I'm not saying that any celebrity should be a role model, but nevertheless, they're doing something really private very publicly, and kids are watching them. And after a while, they'll be numb to all of it. People do justify it and say "well, it's just like getting drunk, that's a drug too", and I guess you could say that Sex and the City was like that with casual sex, and with Samantha taking hits of ecstacy or viagra, and maybe that's just as bad. I don't know.
Funny thing is, I'm not even a parent. I will be someday, and I guess it worries me a bit about how quickly kids will have to grow up in the generations to come. It feels like they'll be confronted with all of this a lot sooner than I was, and it feels like a lot more pressure. As for me and this issue, I just get tired of seeing it all the time, and hearing about it from people who do it just to show everyone that they're very cool, very rock and roll. It's as if it's a hobby that everyone wants to do and they talk about it like it's as normal as saying "Hey, I am totally addicted to making ceramic bowls! Let's make some together! Everyone should get into this!" Whatever.
If it makes you feel fun and happy and cool, great. But try and keep it out of the spotlight, because you may be making a very big impression on someone (and not in a good way).
Okay, okay, I'm off my soapbox.
Friday 7 March 2008
If you don't go through the chair, you won't learn anything.
When I was in theatre school in New York, my acting coach did this exercise with my class: we had to walk diagonally from one corner of the room to the other. But he put a chair right in the centre of the room. So, most people, including myself, walked around the chair, getting from one corner to the other.
Wrong, he said. Instead of seeing the chair as the obstacle that you have to get around, see it as the thing that is making you learn something. And use it to get from point A to point B.
So I went first, and walked towards it, stepped on it, stepped down, and kept walking towards the other corner.
Yes, he said.
I never forgot that lesson, to this day. And yesterday I used it.
I was facing a difficult decision: I was offered a job that isn't entirely right up my alley, but it sounded interesting and it would give me a good career move, or; I could take a freelance gig for a month and see what other permanent jobs would come up in a month's time (if any).
I was writing lists of pros and cons (both lists turned out to be equal), I was pacing, I was panicking... I had to let them know soon, and I was running out of time. I started to cry, because I felt totally overwhelmed and pathetically indecisive. The mister, as supportive as he was being, and as much as he would listen to me rant and freak out, he was starting to get fed up with me and said "stop stressing, you're not accomplishing anything. At some point, no matter how frustrated you feel, you will have to make a decision, and no one can do that for you."
He was right. I got it together. And I thought of my chair. What could I do with it? How could I manage to get through it? How could I take back control and not let circumstances control me?
So this morning I put in a call to my potential future boss (someone who really doesn't have time to take calls from someone like me on the weekend), and I had all my fears answered. And he took the time to hear me. And I took back control and made myself feel better. All by myself.
So no matter what decision I make about this, I finally realized that I have absolutely no fear of whatever happens- I used the obstacle and made it malleable. I made it work for me, and learning how to do that was the best thing I've done in a very very long time.
I'll keep you posted on what happens. Watch this space.
Wrong, he said. Instead of seeing the chair as the obstacle that you have to get around, see it as the thing that is making you learn something. And use it to get from point A to point B.
So I went first, and walked towards it, stepped on it, stepped down, and kept walking towards the other corner.
Yes, he said.
I never forgot that lesson, to this day. And yesterday I used it.
I was facing a difficult decision: I was offered a job that isn't entirely right up my alley, but it sounded interesting and it would give me a good career move, or; I could take a freelance gig for a month and see what other permanent jobs would come up in a month's time (if any).
I was writing lists of pros and cons (both lists turned out to be equal), I was pacing, I was panicking... I had to let them know soon, and I was running out of time. I started to cry, because I felt totally overwhelmed and pathetically indecisive. The mister, as supportive as he was being, and as much as he would listen to me rant and freak out, he was starting to get fed up with me and said "stop stressing, you're not accomplishing anything. At some point, no matter how frustrated you feel, you will have to make a decision, and no one can do that for you."
He was right. I got it together. And I thought of my chair. What could I do with it? How could I manage to get through it? How could I take back control and not let circumstances control me?
So this morning I put in a call to my potential future boss (someone who really doesn't have time to take calls from someone like me on the weekend), and I had all my fears answered. And he took the time to hear me. And I took back control and made myself feel better. All by myself.
So no matter what decision I make about this, I finally realized that I have absolutely no fear of whatever happens- I used the obstacle and made it malleable. I made it work for me, and learning how to do that was the best thing I've done in a very very long time.
I'll keep you posted on what happens. Watch this space.
Thursday 6 March 2008
Hiatus.
Hello again. I'm back. No, it wasn't the haircut that made me go into hiding (it turned out so well!!), just a series of weeks where all I was doing was running and job hunting and travelling and more running around. Too much.
Yes, you read right. Job hunting.
I've been at a job that hasn't been great for me, and I left a couple weeks ago. I won't say anything bad about them (just in case I get sued.. it's the American paranoia in me), but suffice to say that I was definitely overqualified and not challenged enough. So, I'm still looking. I have a couple offers to consider, but otherwise, I'm taking my time and just living my life.
The mister advised me to "be a lady of leisure and not worry about money", which is such a wonderful thing to hear, but I can't do that. I'm too Type A or something. After the initial crying, and panic of "oh no... I don't have a job... I feel useless. How do I fill up my day!?!?!", I used the first day of my freedom to sleep in. And holy crap, I slept in until 1pm. I've never done that, because my body clock always wakes me up at 8 or 9 in the morning. The days following, my body adjusted, and I started going to the gym, teaching myself to cook more (all I know how to do well is fish, eggs, pasta and stir-fry), writing, reading, and discovering the joys of taking a bath. It sounds really simple and boring, but that's the point. I realized that I don't hate being by myself. I got used to enjoying the moments I have, and going for walks in the sun, and visiting with friends and family.
I haven't even gone shopping for shoes and stuff, and only bought some socks for the mister and a few t-shirts for myself from GAP. We did spend money on a trip to Dubai, which was nice, I met the mister there since he was already over there for a business trip. It was lovely to chill out for a few days (and if you're going there, don't bother with the shopping. It's not at all as great as they say). Then, we went to Paris for my mother-in-law's birthday (we had a dinner party and we all dressed up in 1940's garb). It was so beautiful, and an amazing celebration full of friends, family, food and wine.
So I look back at all of that and I think, we spend most of our lives at the office or rushing to an appointment, so when we get a chance to get a break, we don't recognize it as such. We see it as a foreign concept, something that's missing. Not wanting to "not be busy". Or at least that's how I've felt.
Well, after spending today cleaning the whole house, doing laundry, going to the dry cleaners, sorting through all of our bills and various paperwork, and then having the time to write this, I've changed my tune.
It's good to take a break.
Yes, you read right. Job hunting.
I've been at a job that hasn't been great for me, and I left a couple weeks ago. I won't say anything bad about them (just in case I get sued.. it's the American paranoia in me), but suffice to say that I was definitely overqualified and not challenged enough. So, I'm still looking. I have a couple offers to consider, but otherwise, I'm taking my time and just living my life.
The mister advised me to "be a lady of leisure and not worry about money", which is such a wonderful thing to hear, but I can't do that. I'm too Type A or something. After the initial crying, and panic of "oh no... I don't have a job... I feel useless. How do I fill up my day!?!?!", I used the first day of my freedom to sleep in. And holy crap, I slept in until 1pm. I've never done that, because my body clock always wakes me up at 8 or 9 in the morning. The days following, my body adjusted, and I started going to the gym, teaching myself to cook more (all I know how to do well is fish, eggs, pasta and stir-fry), writing, reading, and discovering the joys of taking a bath. It sounds really simple and boring, but that's the point. I realized that I don't hate being by myself. I got used to enjoying the moments I have, and going for walks in the sun, and visiting with friends and family.
I haven't even gone shopping for shoes and stuff, and only bought some socks for the mister and a few t-shirts for myself from GAP. We did spend money on a trip to Dubai, which was nice, I met the mister there since he was already over there for a business trip. It was lovely to chill out for a few days (and if you're going there, don't bother with the shopping. It's not at all as great as they say). Then, we went to Paris for my mother-in-law's birthday (we had a dinner party and we all dressed up in 1940's garb). It was so beautiful, and an amazing celebration full of friends, family, food and wine.
So I look back at all of that and I think, we spend most of our lives at the office or rushing to an appointment, so when we get a chance to get a break, we don't recognize it as such. We see it as a foreign concept, something that's missing. Not wanting to "not be busy". Or at least that's how I've felt.
Well, after spending today cleaning the whole house, doing laundry, going to the dry cleaners, sorting through all of our bills and various paperwork, and then having the time to write this, I've changed my tune.
It's good to take a break.
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