It should be what it isn't.

2012 isn’t about resolutions. It isn’t about changing the face of who I am and how I operate, it’s about contented acceptance and joy.

It’s about finding the magic that exists in the day to day, the joy in the mundane.

2011 brought me so much joy, and so much to be thankful for (though I’m still waiting for a decent 8-hours’ sleep, that would be nice…). And it would be shameful for me if I didn’t take that into 2012 with a smile on my face and a skip in my step that shows the world I can count my blessings.

2012 is also about me appreciating the woman I’ve become, after putting myself down for so many years. I make things tough for myself to prove that things are worth it, which is bizarre I’ll admit, but that’s just how my brain works.

I no longer want to compromise myself for friendships. If you want to be my friend, you have to do the legwork, no matter how busy you are. Same goes for me. In 2011 I learned a valuable lesson: I reach out way too much and meet people more than halfway, and unfortunately I’ve been let down. I’m usually the one people turn to for venting, for help, for advice. And I give every time. Yet when I turn to them when I need help, I’m met with silence or avoidance. And yes, it was someone whom I thought was a close friend. Oh well.

I no longer want to compare myself to other people, and compare my achievements to others, to set an unreachable level for my own psyche. Everyone has their own challenges and baggage, and it’s up to me to cast off any extra weight that I’ve been carrying and focus on my own stuff.

I’m going to appreciate that the entire package that I have created within myself is extraordinary. Maybe sounds a bit arrogant, but I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.

I met my husband and a year later I relocated to his home country.

I tried to find a job, and found a few good ones, but nothing that really challenged me.

We moved houses 3 times in 3 years.

In the midst of that, we had 2 children, I went back to work, he started a business, and we will be starting another one in 2012, fingers crossed.

I have no real friends over in this country, and my family is 4000 miles away in New York. His family runs their own business, so they aren’t really around either. Which means that we have no real help with childcare, consistently.

I’m not listing these to get a badge of honour, I’m listing these because all of these points have a silver lining for me. Every single one has made me who I am today. A much stronger person, a more balanced person, a more appreciative person for the negative that I’ve cut out of my life and for the positive that I’ve embraced.

2012 will be good. Because I have everything about it to smile about.